


Broken Ice

by aurora_chiroptera



Category: The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Identity, Loss of Virginity, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 02:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16778041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_chiroptera/pseuds/aurora_chiroptera
Summary: Genly didn't tell the whole truth about what happened on the ice.Includes talks of kemmer, identity, and love.





	Broken Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Genly is demisexual in this piece. Not in the same "universe" as my everybody lives au, so you can decide how heartbreaking or nonheartbreaking this is. Also using clitopenis, as seen in le Guin's short story Coming of Age in Karhide.

Therem was in kemmer, the fourth time since we started this journey. They sat atop their bedroll, trying to write as the wind shook the sides of our tent. Their discomfort was clear, a light sheen of sweat visible where their shirt was open. I had been trying to sleep, but there was something that bothered me too much, chasing around my mind. I wondered if this was what it was like, to feel that attraction to someone, one that was starting to blur far beyond the platonic. A heat in my body, so at odds with the ice.

Sitting up and slipping out of the bedding, I reached out to Therem. They flinched away, turning to look at me with dark, questioning eyes. “I want…” I swallowed. “I want to help.”

Therem looked a bit exasperated at that. “I would not ask that of you… Genry. This is personal, and I will deal with it as I have thus far.”

“Therem…” I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to express my own need, which was as alien to me as this world. I let my arm fall to my side and decided to talk. “Can I tell you something?”

They closed their book and shifted to face me. There was not much space in the tent, and our faces were only a foot apart. It was the worst kind of temptation. “Of course.”

“I have… never been with anyone… the way you have when in kemmer,” I started. At Therem’s surprised sound, I shrugged with a small smile. “It’s not an embarrassing thing on Terra, there were those who do not experience that sort of attraction or experience it very rarely. I had always thought myself the former, but I think it’s actually the latter.”

“You are always in kemmer, but don’t experience sexual attraction?” Therem asked, head tipping to one side and brows drawing down.

“I think kemmer is a specific chemical state, as much as a physical one,” I said, picking at my leggings but trying to look them in the eyes. “Certainly, those within the Ekumen experience sexual desires and aroused states. But those usually aren’t constant.”

“It is more that your sexual organs are always outside or always inside,” Therem said, nodding. “That makes sense. But you, yourself, have not had any intimate encounters?”

“No, I never really had a desire to, when my classmates came into that age. But I was never close to any of them,” I sighed, rubbing my face. How could I explain my own need for emotional and romantic connection to someone who had grown up in a society where even incest was still common because of the state of kemmer? “I know closeness isn’t needed for most, but it is for me.”

Therem was quiet for a long moment, looking thoughtful. They were twirling their pen between lovely brown fingers, not nearly a chapped as my own from the weather outside. They also had a glow about them, something that seemed to come with kemmer.

“I understand,” they finally said, then put the pen aside and leaned closer. “Has there ever been someone you were close enough, trusted enough, for this?”

I glanced down at their full lips, so close to mine now. That feeling, that fire surged within me, but I wanted to make sure they wanted this as much as me. That finally, our signals hadn’t been crossed and we could do this. “Only one,” I whispered, voice rough, looking back up to their eyes.

“Genry… Can I be your first kemmering?” Therem asked, and the heat shot down from my gut.

“Therem, please,” I managed, and they came forward, wrapping their arms around me, all while maneuvering us so that we were in no danger of the stove or knocking against the tent. I wondered if they had done this in a tent before but thought soon fled me. Their tongue slipped passed my lips, my hands rested against the bare skin of their back. It was glorious and warm, and I whimpered, letting Therem lead.

They were talented and experienced. For the first time since I got to Gethen, I eagerly stripped off my clothing as Therem did the same. Soon we were wonderfully skin to skin, and just for the pure pleasure of it, not for any reason of survival. Their hardness brushed against my own and we both sighed, content and aroused.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” I murmured up to them, rolling my hips and watching pleasure cross their face.

“So are you, for an alien,” Therem said, teasing, then grinned as we both laughed, wrapped in each other’s arms and faces close together. 

There was nothing about this that felt wrong to me, and I kissed their collar bone, then up to their ear. They hummed, leaning into the attention, before pulling a way to return it. We stayed close, but they moved to take one of my nipples, sucked it in a way I didn’t assume could feel so wonderful. I arched into them, hands finding their long hair. It had been up in a knot, and I let it loose, running my hands through it while Therem kissed and nipped and sucked across my chest and back up to my lips.

There was no rush, maybe to conserve energy, maybe just to honor this time together. A break from labor, from hardship. Therem reached down and took me in their hand, thumb running over the tip of my cock. I didn’t stop the moan, couldn’t, let the feeling of them and their gentle care run over me. They kept kissing me as they worked, bringing their own clitopenis to move against me. Soon all I could do was hold on, wrapping my legs around their waist, and let the pleasure run over me.

“You okay?” Therem whispered, face pressed beside my own.

“Yes…” I sighed, pressed closer as they sped up the pace of their hand. Their clitopenis seemed to self-lubricate, which made the movement smooth and I warned. “I’m…”

“I know,” they pressed a kissed to my forehead, gentleness at odds with their quick hand.

Surging up, I came and felt Estraven soon follow. We lay there, and I held them against me, feeling alive and sated and gloriously warm. I wondered, not for the first time, that if this was what love felt like. I had no experience with it, so much less when compared Therem. Maybe they knew, as they took a warm, wet cloth and cleaned us both, before climbing into the same sleeping bag as me. I realized I would be content just listening to their heart beat and knowing that they were alive and well.

So maybe this was love after all.


End file.
